I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
