This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
