I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
