You smell like a Billy Joel song
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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