You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
