tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize