Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
