I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
