I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
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My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
false alarm, still single
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