my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We need to rekindle our bromance
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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