You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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