Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
