I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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