It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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