sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize