Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
