whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
