I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
