The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
