First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
