You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
