Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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