I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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