Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
