Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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