You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
