I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
