so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
