but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
