just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
