At least make sure they are 18
Why
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
