awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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