Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
