your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
