I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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