Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
