We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
