Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize