So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
