New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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