i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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