we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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