He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
