he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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