Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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