How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
