she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
