NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
