Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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