Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
