so that wasnt chicken after all
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
