I'd wear matching sweaters with you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
