i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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