p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
