Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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