Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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