i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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