I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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