I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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