she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
