she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
